Thursday, March 31, 2011

Earth Vs. the Spider

Directed by:  Bert I. Gordon
Written by: Laszlo Gorog, George Worthing Yates. story by Gordon
Starring:  Ed Kemmer, June Kenney and Eugene Persson
From IMDB:
"Teenagers from a rural community and their high school science teacher join forces to battle a giant mutant spider."
Even in the 50s cops in horror movies are dim witted bullies.
Despite the fact there are bodies laying about the place, the portly sheriff laughs at the thought that there's any real trouble to be found.
Wow - best friend Joe - a high school student is 35 years old - and he looks it!
The "professor" is 37 years old.
"You know teenagers.  They'll say anything!"
Lamenting his inability to get into the gym Joe postulates:
"Why the cats will have a blast if we don't swing solid."  You can't buy lines like that!  Did "blast" have a different meaning in 58 - or was the 72 year old screenwriter just throwing together some cool as hell lingo?
"Where you heading to, Jake?"
"I'm evacuating.  That darn monster run me out of house and home!"
The young ladies father has been eaten by a giant spider but her mother admonishes her "Get your homework done, young lady."
In a nice little homage - Mike is telling Carol he can't get away because he wants to watch the new movie his dad has at the theater - about puppet people.  Attack of the Puppet People was made earlier the same year by Bert I. Gordon (Mr. Big to his friends).  The movie currently playing at the theater is The Amazing Colossus Man - another Gordon flick.  Gordon made over 25 low budget horror sci fi movies and is, to the best of my knowledge, still alive.
The spider changes sizes frequently throughout the movie.
Some gal gets her little cotton skirt caught in the door of her car.  Rather than just rip the dress off she chooses to die a horrible death in the clutches of a giant spider.  Going a bit far for modesty, I'd say.
The noise the spider makes is hilarious.  It's like some guy groaning into a tin can. 
This movie is magic!!
Ooops - someone left a baby in the middle of the road!!  I guess the mother got distracted.
I'm giving this little gem 3 Bloody Eyes out of 5.  Tons of fun on a Saturday afternoon.

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